I started writing this entry last Sunday. Well, not exactly this entry. That version started like this:
“’There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain,’
In church today, seven children stood scrunched together around one microphone, singing in their off-key childish voices, and making a breaking motion that was not at all in time with the music. Their innocence was adorable…”
Then, on Monday, I started over with a new thought that seemed appropriate to share as I reflected on a weekend conversation:
“One of the beautiful things about getting to know other people and being known by them is that God reveals himself…”
However, pretty quickly, that entry sprouted another idea, so I started a blog entry that went like this:
“Although I love my name, Sarah, I am not particularly fond of my namesake in the Bible. You see, Sarah and I struggle with the same hatred of ambiguity, the same impatience…”
All week, I’ve been wrestling with the question of what to share; what thought should I give life in words? I keep starting, only to find the entry unresolved, unfinished, and therefore unsatisfying.
Like the biblical Sarah, I do hate ambiguity and unanswered questions. But right now, I’m still learning the lessons of patience and waiting on the Lord, and I have no resolution in these struggles.
And it is true that in getting to know other people, God reveals himself. However, sometimes what exactly he is revealing takes a while to untangle from the many threads of conversation. I’ve still got some knots to untie before that thought is complete.
Also, while the innocence of children is adorable, as I watched them last Sunday I was wrestling with the knowledge that they were soon going to discover chains that Jesus needs to break, in their own lives and in the world, and I have no idea how to prepare them or anyone else for those realizations.
So, like I said, I started writing this post on Sunday and I don’t have a finished thought yet. Over the next few months, I anticipate that not every thought I have will be finished, nor will I have an answer to share every week. But I am committing to write and be satisfied even when I don’t have a resolved, finished thought. Welcome to the journey.